Abortion, Disability, and Coercion

Crossposted from AbortionGang.

I recently read an article on the DailyMail website which has me infuriated.
Six years ago, a woman in the UK learned she was pregnant and the fetus had Down syndrome. While the woman and her husband were confused and nervous about coping with a child with special needs (on top of caring for their other six children), they never considered having an abortion. They wanted to continue the pregnancy and give birth.

And yet the woman had an abortion.

According to the article (and we have to take the Daily Mail with a grain of salt), she and her husband were bullied by their doctors and nurses. When they went in to discuss how “to be prepared for the fact we might have a disabled child,” the nurse only counseled her on a termination. The nurse continuously pushed abortion even after the couple told her they wanted to continue the pregnancy. Eventually, with a nurse and a consultant bombarding her to terminate, the woman was in a state of shock, and began the abortion.

This is infuriating. This is disgusting. This is anti-choice.

There are actually two problems going on here. First, there is discrimination against people with special needs. As a pro-choice advocate, I support a woman’s right to choose. Without taking away that support, I also question why so many people are afraid to have a child with special needs. In recent studies, researchers have found that 79% of the responding parents “felt their outlook on life was more positive” because of having a child with Down syndrome. In fact, “only 4% said they felt sad about their life.” While more challenging at times, life with a child with special needs is not the horror story many people imagine.

The difference between the viewpoints of families with children who have Down syndrome, and the women who are considering termination because of Down syndrome is huge. It leads me to question if the pregnant women are fully informed about their decisions, or if they’re just basing their ideas on popular cultural views (I am not trying to imply that women are choosing termination lightly or ignorantly–just that people in positions of power are not giving them the full picture, and they have no way of knowing this).

The way to fix this is clear: stop discriminating against people with special needs. Instead, value those with special needs within our society. Do not just try to make them fit in, but let them excel, stand out and be leaders. In this way, we
can make having a special needs child less terrifying than it seems to be today.
If the above seems like a daunting task, we can always start smaller. Host educational seminars for OB/GYNs about how to support a family that’s going to have a special needs child. Form resource networks between doctors and Down syndrome support groups, so an pregnant woman has someone she can talk to about what to expect. These are simple steps to ensuring that women are fully informed, so they can decide the absolute best choice for their family.

The second issue at hand is the violation of this woman’s right to choose. Forcing or coercing a woman into abortion Is. Not. Pro. Choice. This is an anti-choice behavior. Any pro-choice person who sees someone trying to coerce a woman into a specific decision should immediately speak up against this action. Every pro-choice person should be just as quick to stand up for a woman’s right to continue to term as (s)he is for a woman’s right to terminate.

Anti-choicers are quick to pick up an article like this and claim it proves abortion is absolute evil. Yet it is clear that our world is not that black and white. What the article proves is wrong is coercive practices. For some women, abortion is the wrong choice, while for other women birth is the wrong choice. Neither event- abortion nor birth- is bad in and of itself. But both can be bad when forced upon the woman. This is why antipchoicers are wrong when they call us “pro-abortion” and mean that we only want women to abort. I most certainly do not want every woman to abort. I want every woman to make whichever choice is best for themselves and their families, and to have the support and access to complete that choice.

Trying Not to Erase Grief: Miscarriage and Abortion

Crossposted from AbortionGang.

Over here at the AbortionGang we recently came across a tumblr post about the “baby vs. fetus” debate that ends with the following:

So while we are wont to scream so loudly that a fetus is not a baby and therefore it is not murder for the person carrying them to decide for themselves if they wish to continue to do so or not – and I agree with this – could we take a moment to realize that saying they are not babies also erases the experience of people who miscarry and are grieving over their loss(es)?

I think this is extremely important and something all feminists and pro-choicers should consider.

As the anti-choicers continue to propose and pass antichoice legislation, post racist, anti-choice billboards and try to send women to jail for having abortions, I believe the political pro-choice stance and the personal abortion stories are becoming more and more distant. Listening and considering the real lives of women who have abortions and women who deal with fetal loss will help us stay grounded against the insanity of the anti-choice position.

Legally, fetuses are not infants, are not considered persons, and thus, having an abortion is not murder. But we must remember, the personal is different from the legal. Pregnancy is different for every single woman- and one woman may experience multiple pregnancies in very different ways. A woman may consider her fetus to be ababy, or already a person, because she plans to carry to term. Another woman may consider her fetus to be a baby even though she is planning to have an abortion. Those feelings and beliefs are normal, valid, and should be perfectly acceptable.

Using the term “baby” doesn’t hurt the pro-choice position at all. If a woman believes that abortion is the best option for her baby, then we should support her in her choice.** It does us no good to get into a battle over the word (the same applies if she wants to carry her fetus to term).

On the other end of the spectrum are women who have lost pregnancies, both wanted and unwanted, planned and unplanned, through miscarriage. Just as with abortion, some women may feel relieved and think of the fetus as just a fetus. Other women may feel they lost a member of their family. None of these feelings hurt the pro-choice position, and all should be taken into consideration when we’re writing, blogging, speaking and protesting.

I always try to make an effort to let the woman in question decide what type of language will be used, and allow her feelings to control the situation instead of mine. For her, my opinion on the baby vs. fetus debate isn’t relevant. Making sure she feels loved and supported is most important.

**This does not only apply to women terminating wanted pregnancies due to fetal abnormalities.

Choosing Birth after Rape

Crossposted from the AbortionGang.

I would like to give an often ignored perspective of rape, pregnancy and abortion (this is your trigger warning, though I don’t plan to be graphic).

I often see tweets, blog posts and comments from women and men (and people who identify as neither of the above) sharing their horror at the thought of carrying a pregnancy conceived in rape to term. They proudly and strongly say they support abortion, because it’s horrific, gruesome, disgusting, and cruel to force a woman to carry to term after she was raped (or, “give birth to her rapist’s child”). Now maybe I’m not paying attention, but it seems that all of the feminist discussion around rape and pregnancy decisions is focused around how awful it is for women to give birth after rape. Yet one study in 1996 (old, but the only reliable one I could find) said 32.2% of raped women chose to birth and keep the child (50% had abortions, 5.9% participated in adoption and 11.8% had miscarriages). 32% is a substantial portion of women that it seems many feminist forget about.

I 100% agree that it’s wrong to force a woman to carry to term when she wants to abort.

But I have to wonder: how does this type of language (horrific, disgusting, cruel) affect women who choose to carry to term after rape?

I wonder how a single mother of a beautiful two year old who happened to be conceived from rape feels when she reads that it’s “barbaric” to “force a woman to give birth to the child of her rapist.” Does she feel like she was supported in her choice? Doubtful.

We always need to be considerate of who we talk about and who we talk to. While it may seem clear that the barbaric part is the force of rape, denying the woman her access to decide to have sex, if we only talk about how wrong it is to force birth instead of how wrong it is to force abortion, or force any unwanted choice, then others may start reading it as the birth of a child as disgusting. And I certainly hope no one actually thinks choosing to give birth is disgusting.

I know a lot of this language choice is based upon our hatred of rape, and it would make sense to have a second discussion about rape here, but I’m not going to do that. All I ask is that we default to the individual woman’s opinion before we share our own feelings when dealing with issues of pregnancy, abortion and rape, because everyone should feel supported in their decisions.

God has a plan for all fetuses.

(Possible trigger warning for miscarriages/stillbirth. I do not mean any disrespect or harm to any reader.)

It's true. God has a plan for all fetuses.

But not every plan includes being born.


Some fetuses are meant to be born, raised by loving and almost perfect parents, become doctors or scientists, find cures for diseases and save lives.

Other fetuses are meant to be miscarried, or born still. They are mourned or not mourned, always remembered or intentionally forgotten.

Why? We don't know why. God's plan is bigger than all of us, bigger than we can see. We don't know why God runs the world the way He does.


Abortion (the intentional termination of a pregnancy, not necessarily the current day procedure) is obviously a part of God's plan. There are cases in the Bible of God's chosen people killing pregnant women and their fetuses (Numbers 31:15-17, Genesis 38:24) and God's priests causing an abortion if a woman is pregnant after cheating (Numbers 5:11-31). If you can't believe that, one must at least recognize that miscarriage (spontaneous abortion) is a part of God's plan. God controls nature- he designed it, and us- and if He never planned on miscarriages happening, they wouldn't happen.


When antichoicers say "God has a plan for your [fetus]!" they're trying to trick women. Trick women into thinking that God always plans for a fetus to be born. Or that God plans for their specific fetus to be born, and the woman is going to mess up that plan. But God is smarter than that! He knows us; He knows what choices we will make in this life. God's plans coincide with the choices we will make. God would not put, say, the future curer of cancer inside a woman who plans to abort if she ever gets pregnant.


So don't think that you can't make your own choice because 'God has a plan.' God's plans work with you, not against you. Whether you abort or carry to term, God walking the path with you.

What Planned Parenthood does.

Many people have personal experiences from when they visited their local Planned Parenthood. Depending upon where we go, why we go, and when we go, we can each have a different experience.

Some people claim that Planned Parenthood only deals with abortions, and backs this up with a personal experience about how they went to their local PP and were counseled on abortion. For some reason, they seem to think that this means every single Planned Parenthood clinic and the organization as a whole only does what the one counselor they encountered did. This could not be farther from the truth.

Planned Parenthood is an international organization, yes. But their clinics are not franchises, where every "item" on the "menu" has to be exactly the same (such as a McDonalds does). Each Planned Parenthood has different services they are able to provide, based upon their location, the laws of the area and the doctors/nurses/workers available in the area.

For instance, some Planned Parenthoods perform abortions. Others do not. The one I visited the first time I needed a checkup does not perform abortions- they only deal with STDs, birth control and exams. Some PPs offer prenatal care- I have a friend who went to Planned Parenthood for all of her prenatal care during her first pregnancy as a teenager. Other Planned Parenthood locations have agreements with local adoption groups to provide resources and avenues for women looking to place a child up for adoption. Some PPs can even test you for fertility, and provide infertility treatments!


There are a whole range of services offered by Planned Parenthood as an organization. If you want to know which ones are offered at your local clinic, you can look it up here.

So next time, instead of making an assumption about what Planned Parenthood does based upon the one nurse you interact with, remember that you're seeing one small part of what Planned Parenthood is and does.

Do I have to support abortion-rights to go to Planned Parenthood?

Absolutely not!

Planned Parenthood offers it services to all women, regardless of their position on abortion. You do not have to be prochoice to use Planned Parenthood to obtain healthcare services.

The job of the clinic workers is to provide you with safe, confidential and accessible care. They are not there to push their political beliefs upon you. They most likely wont even mention abortion at all, unless you're there for pregnancy options counseling or you bring it up.

Not every Planned Parenthood location provides abortions, either. Look up your local Planned Parenthood clinic, and see which services they provide. Some of the clinics even allow you to request an appointment online! Very accessible.


Most people who go to Planned Parenthood are not there for an abortion. Most people are there for STD testing, contraceptives, pap smears, yearly exams, or other non-abortive health care. So don't feel strange going to Planned Parenthood- they are there because they want to help you!

Black and White

First off, I wish everyone well on this Ash Wednesday as we enter the season of Lent.

The world is a wonderful, colorful place. There are plants of different colors, houses of different colors, animals of different colors, and people of different colors.

I must warn you, though. Not everyone lives in this colorful world. Some people live in a world of black and white.

I'm talking about anti-abortion people. I've been seeing a trend lately, where everything they say is watered down into an "either-or" situation; a black and white world.

Now, I will give the benefit of the doubt and say this could be due in part to twitters extremely short 140 character limit. I know I've watered down a few things I've said because I didn't feel like sending 20 tweets. However, twitter is not the only location where this is happening. We see this black&white stance on facebook, on blogs, in the news, etc. It's everywhere.

I believe that antis create a black and white world because a colorful world, with areas of gray, would destroy their position. For instance:

Murder. Many, many, many antis have told me that taking a life is murder. Period. Anytime you kill a human being, it's murder. Upon this reasoning, they claim abortion is murder.

But looking at this, it should be obvious to us why this is wrong. Not all killing is murder. We have wars, death penalty, suicide, manslaughter, self-defense, police action, and more. There are multiple types of legal killing, and multiple types of illegal killing. If we believe that abortion is killing, that does not make us conclude that abortion is murder.


Another example is the safety of abortion. Antis will tell you that abortion is always dangerous, dangerous, dangerous. It's always bad and unhealthy for the woman. It's always going to give her horrible depression.

However, there are plenty of women who speak in public and online who can testify that abortion does not always cause depression or physical complications or anything else they claim. There are women who will speak up and tell you that childbirth would have killed them, and abortion saved their life.

There are also women who have been hurt by abortion, both physically and mentally. It is not a perfect thing, abortion. As a medical procedure, just like others, it has a failure rate.

As we can see, the issue of abortion safety is not black and white. For some women, abortion is safer than pregnancy and childbirth. For other women, childbirth is safer than abortion. By accepting this, we accept that the best option for each woman is different.

Antichoicers cannot accept that. They cannot accept that abortion could be a best choice for anyone. They cannot accept that pregnancy could be dangerous for anyone. Their black and white world does not allow for that recognition.


Until antichoicers learn to live in color, and to celebrate all the differences among us, we will never be able to make progress or work to reduce the unplanned pregnancy rate. Because there is no one set method which will lead us forward- we must mix together multiple different aspects to reach our goal.

What Prochoice means to me.

Prochoice is not pro-abortion.

I don't know how anyone could get the two things mixed up. Prochoice is about sooo sooo sooooooo much more than just abortion. It's about a woman's right to choose. It's about reproductive choices and freedoms.

For me, being prochoice is about a woman's right to choose whether she wants to be pregnant in the first place. That means having access to contraceptives and the education on how to use them, as well as information about abstinence and how to refrain from sex when you're pressured to do it.

Prochoice is about a woman's right to choose whether she wants to stay pregnant. That means having access to abortion and prenatal health care, as well as a support system for the woman regardless of which choice she makes.

Prochoice is about a woman's right to give birth how and with who she wants. That means access to health care, midwives, OB/GYNs, doulas and information for all the above choices. That means education (not just 1 day hospital classes) about childbirth, the interventions offered and their risks, and how to fight for your own well being as well as the well being of the child.

Prochoice is about being able to choose whether to actually be a parent, or to give up a child for adoption. That means access to information about adoption and parenting. That means fighting for adoption reform so that adoption isn't so expensive and doesn't take so long to happen. It means recognizing that there are waiting lists for some types of children and an overabundance of other types of children.

Prochoice is about choosing HOW you parent. Do you want to breastfeed or formula feed? Do you want to co-sleep or allow your child to sleep in it's own room? Are you going to use cloth diapers or disposables? Are you going to babywear? What are your rights as a working parent? ALL these choices require the person to be INFORMED about their rights and their choices.

Where does all this education come from? Hopefully parents play an important role. But we cannot ensure their participation. Education must happen where it can be controlled as science-based and factual; in the schools. And the education must extend beyond the topic covered here. It must go into gender roles, marriage, respect, puberty, and so much more.

Prochoice is about a lot more than just abortion.

Regret after Abortion: The Prochoice Perspective

Regret. It's an awful feeling. There are a lot of reasons for people to regret doing something. And there are a lot of events, activities, choices and actions that people regret. But what about abortion?

Prolife likes to shout from the roof tops that women regret abortion. Prochoice loves to quickly counter with the idea that most women do not regret their abortion (Phew).

However, this is sort of an unintentional cover up. Even if most women don't regret, that means there are some women who do regret their abortion. As prochoicers, we should be able to address that.

There are many reasons why a woman might regret her abortion, including:
1. She was forced to abort.
2. She thought abortion was murder, but had an abortion anyway.
3. She wanted to keep the pregnancy, but aborted for someone's reasons.
4. She was coerced to abort (by threats from a boyfriend, from her parents, etc).
5. She wasn't fully informed.
6. She made a choice that didn't work out for her.


And many more. Some are simple reasons, some are not. Some are reasons that could have been avoided, some are not. But for whatever reason, the woman regrets her choice.

We must be able to point out that regret is not the end of the world. There are more women who suffer postpartum depression after labor than women who regret after an abortion, but we would never say that we should stop getting pregnant and having babies on a species scale. Just because someone regrets something, does not make that something inherently evil. For example:

Say I have a car, but my job is three blocks away. So I decide to sell the car. Two weeks after the car is sold, I am promoted and moved to district headquarters, which is a half hour drive away. Suddenly, I regret selling my car.

- Was selling my car inherently evil or bad? No.
- Was selling my car the wrong choice at the time? Not necessarily.
- Should I tell everyone else to stop selling their cars, just because I regretting selling mine? Absolutely not!


Now obviously, selling a car and abortion have their differences. But the point is that regret is a legitimate feeling after having an abortion (or a baby, or adoption) and people should be able to find help and healing after any of these experiences without trying to terrorize other people.

So next time prolife says "women regret abortion!" say "Here's an excellent group that can help her find healing: http://www.4exhale.org/

Link List

Here are just a few links for your reading/bookmarking pleasure.


1. Women do not always regret abortion.

http://www.apa.org/releases/abortion-report.html
http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/world/2008-12/05/content_7273710.htm
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa3634/is_199707/ai_n8772240/
http://www.nytimes.com/1990/04/06/us/study-finds-little-lasting-distress-from-abortion.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28050494/from/ET/
http://www.prochoicemajority.org.uk/STORY/story_index.php
http://imnotsorry.net/

2. Illegal Abortion is unsafe, legal abortion is safer than pregnancy.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33295584/ns/health-womens_health/
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/12/world/12abortion.html
http://www.emedicinehealth.com/abortion/article_em.htm

3. Fetus is not conscious until later in the pregnancy, brainwaves are not seen at 40 days.
http://tigtogblog.blogspot.com/2006/05/fetal-brain-development-myths-and.html
http://eileen.250x.com/Main/Einstein/Brain_Waves.htm
http://brainmind.com/FetalBrainDevelopment.html
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/full/294/8/947