Saturday, December 11, 2010

Who Deserves to Have a Baby?

This post was originally written on November 30th, 2010 for

It’s always interesting to look into the mind of an anti and see what they believe. The latest thing I’ve noticed is that antis have a very, very strange view of who will make good parents. Many antichoice harassers will stand outside a clinic and tell any woman walking in (whether there for a pap or an abortion consult) that she would make a great mom. They tell her she deserves to be a mother and will instantly fall in love at birth.

Yet at the same time, a woman with a wanted pregnancy who has gone through fertility issues and miscarriages, who has researched the development of her fetus and given him a name, who has never stepped foot in or near a clinic- this woman they believe would make a horrible mother. So horrible in fact that they think her infant, once born, should be removed from her and placed up for adoption. Others have suggested that the mother has an emotional or mental illness that needs to be looked into.

For instance, Kristen on JillStanek’s post says
“I think they should give the baby up for adoption – they are obviously not good parents.”

Aengus O’Shaughnessy replies,
“Kristen, you are absolutely correct–these people should give the poor child to someone who will raise it properly.”

Jennifer agrees:
“The bottom line is these people are already terrible, terrible parents and they don’t deserve this baby. Lord Jesus, have mercy on this innocent child and save him from his own parents. How sick and disgusting this is.”

What made antichoicers hate this Glenn-Beck-loving woman so much that they want to take her child away by force? The simply fact that her husband put up a hoax website inviting people to vote on whether they would abort the pregnancy or not. Both prochoice and antichoice [Warning, link is to Jill Stanek] websites have proven the vote is a hoax. The couple wants people to consider how important voting is.

While I can understand an antichoicer being upset about voting on abortion, I cannot wrap my mind around the idea that anti-choicers believe it is worse than actually going to get an abortion. The only answer which looks logical from my point of view is that antis do not really want women who abort to be moms- they’re just so desperate to avoid abortion that they’ll lie to women at the clinic. This idea,unfortunately, does not lack proof.

A number of women, including young women, have been forced and coerced into adoption by antichoice organizations. These organizations belittle and mentally abuse pregnant women into thinking they are worthless and unable to be mothers. They lie to women about being unable to care for an infant without a college education, a full time job, or a family to back her up (only, of course, after she’s passed the legal limit to abort).

The truth is anti-choicers don’t want pro-choice people or women who abort or even women who have considered abortion to be parents. They believe these people don’t deserve to be mothers or fathers and should have their children taken away, to be given to a “better” family.

Regardless of who the anti-choicers believe are acceptable parents, their wish that pro-choice people not be allowed to have children is cruel and wrong. Women deserve to be mothers when they want to be mothers, and not forced to give up a child just because they’re poor or uneducated or not Caucasian. Choosing to parent is just that- a parent’s choice. No one should have the right to deny a person their choice to parent.

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