Supporting Pregnant Teens/ Teen Moms

Pregnant teens or teen moms need support.

And no, I am not encouraging teens to have babies.

I am always surprised when I come across people who think that supporting pregnant teens/teen moms means encouraging teens to get pregnant. Why is it so difficult for us to understand this difference?

Of course, the first issue here is that Teen Pregnancy Is Bad (tm). Therefore, whenever a person talks about teens being pregnant or having kids, they always feel the need to put that young woman into a negative position or say negative things about her. Because in their eyes, she's done something wrong by becoming pregnant.

Maybe being pregnant as a teen is wrong. It's certainly not healthy on a massive population scale. But neither of these facts are going to help young women who are already on a path towards teen motherhood.

Because Teen Pregnancy Is Bad (tm), people will turn any discussion about pregnant teens towards preventing teen pregnancy. Which is a good thing, in theory. In practice, it means that young women who are already pregnant are getting no support.

For instance, if someone says that we should support teen moms, or have a group for teen moms to get together to support each other, someone is bound to bring up condoms.

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Poloyatonki - 10 hours ago

Tracy….Are you encouraging teen pregnancy? Lets just educate them to use a condom….

This above quote is from the article Supporting Teen Moms, in which the author wants to start up a support group for teen moms to get together and chat.

I hate that I have to ask this, but does a condom help a young woman who is already pregnant avoid pregnancy? No. This tactic reminds me of the antichoicers suggesting that pregnant women looking for abortions should just keep their legs closed (and not have sex). Great advice, but unless you've got a time machine to go with it, you're not helping anyone.

In business, companies can separate their customer base into different target markets. When dealing with teenagers, we should be able to do the same. Teens who are already pregnant and planning to parent or teen moms are one target market. This market is where the support needs to be sent to. Teens that are not pregnant and not parents are a second target market where the focus of contraceptive education should be pushed. Why is this such a hard idea for people to understand?

Of course, people may response that non-pregnant teens might see the support teen moms have, and decide that teen pregnancy isn't all that bad. While this may sound dangerous, I doubt an overwhelming number of teens are going to see teen parenting as "cool" or "fun" just because teen moms get some support. Besides that, teen parents should not be treated harshly or punished just to send a message to teens who aren't parents.

Pregnant women and mothers need to have a supportive environment whether they are teenagers or forty years old. And that support needs to be a lot more helpful than "use a condom..."

40 Days for Lies- Make it Do Good

Are you tired of 40 Days for Life [read: Lies]? Do you want to create some sort of good out of the antichoice harassment happening at clinics around the country?

Well then, let's do it! I've dedicated this post to keeping track of how much money we can raise in the name of 40 Days for "Life" (aka Lies). There are many different ways you can donate!

You could donate to a clinic in North Dakota.
Or you could donate to the EMA fund in Massachusetts.
There's also the Make a Difference Fund in San Diego, California (which has a clinic being attacked by the 40 days).
The New York Abortion Access Fund has been very low on funds lately.

There are so many more than just those! If you want to pick one closer to home, you can look at the list of abortion funds or you could just donate to the National Network of Abortion funds and they'll be sure to put the money to good use.

The other option you have is donating to Planned Parenthood. Their donations are being matched up until election day, up to $100,000.

WentRogue is the first to donate (and my inspiration for this post). Will you step up and be number 2? If you donate, please leave a comment here, and then spread the word to others!

Antichoicers wont let HIV+ women have families.

We learned that the people pushing for anti-abortion laws are actually pushing for forced abortion and c-section laws; they are one and the same.

"Why We Marched"

This quote is very important because it tells us the truth about antichoicers. Their goal is not to prevent abortions, but to control women. One way to control women is to deny them the right and ability to abort. Another way to control women is to tell certain groups of women that they cannot have sex and or cannot get pregnant and have a child.

I recently learned that a couple of the antichoicers on twitter believe that it is wrong for a woman who is HIV+ to choose to get pregnant and have a baby. This surprised me, because antis are so often talking about babies as miracles and the best thing about life.

It seems not everyone is allowed to enjoy the best part of life.

One of the antis said that a couple who is HIV+ should just refrain from having sex (or at least that's how they came across). I believe it's perfectly acceptable for people to refrain from having sex; if that is what they want to do. But what about the couple who wants to have sex? Why shouldn't they be "allowed," like all other consenting adults on the planet, to have sex? The other anti said that the risk of HIV transmission to a fetus/baby was too great to risk getting pregnant, but then said that a couple could still have sex. If the risk is too big to risk pregnancy, and sex has a risk of pregnancy, I'm not sure how you can hold those two views together.

But what I really don't understand, is where antichoicers got the idea that they could tell other people they couldn't have kids and expand their families. Women and men with HIV shouldn't be punished just for having HIV. If they want to start families, they should have every right to do so- in as safe a situation as possible! Teaching people with HIV that there's a stigma against them isn't going to encourage them to seek out treatment or reveal their HIV+ status to their doctors.

I'm sure other people are worried about risk of HIV transfer. I hadn't done much research myself, but @ashleyrebeccah was nice enough to share a link with me.

Antiretroviral therapy administered to the mother during pregnancy, labor and delivery, and then to the newborn, as well as elective cesarean section for women with high viral loads (more than 1,000 copies/ml), can reduce the rate of perinatal HIV transmission to 2% or less [12]

"Mother-to-Child (Perinatal) HIV Transmission and Prevention"

This means that as long as the mother knows she is HIV+, the risk of HIV transmission is 2% or less.

I'm sure some people will think that's too big of a risk to take. But for other people, perhaps people with HIV, that's not too big of a risk to take.

At 45 years old, women have a 3% risk of delivering a child with downs syndrome. Women who have already had a child with a neural tube defect have a 3% risk of having another child with a neural tube defect, like Anencephaly. Do antichoicers believe these women too should not be "allowed" to have a family?


It is a slippery slope which antichoicers are willing to go down towards eugenics, I'm sure. First women with HIV cannot have children- then women at risk for other diseases. Will they require everyone to have genetic testing to see if they will be allowed to have sex? Or will they just force sterilization upon the people they do not want to have kids?

Women are individual human beings, who deserve to have individual control over their reproductive organs and choices. Whether they be HIV+ or not; whether they have a genetic disease or not.

What’s wrong with pregnant teens?

Cross posted from AbortionGang.org.

There is obviously a stigma attached to being a pregnant teenager.

My question is, why?

What is it about teenagers that makes us so upset when they get pregnant?

Some people might say that it’s because having a baby ruins a woman’s life- her change to fulfill her potential in the future. But then why aren’t we upset at 24 year olds having babies? They still have most of their lives ahead of them too. Or what if the young mother wants nothing more than to be a stay at home mom? Not everyone is on a track which takes them to college and then a PhD.

Other people might look down on her for not using birth control. But this is just an assumption. Perhaps she was using birth control- maybe birth control and condoms!- but happened to be a part of the statistic that contraceptives fail. Or perhaps she was raped. Can you imagine how hurtful it would be to have everyone assume you had consensual unprotected sex, when you were actually raped?

Another idea is that people look down on young people for having sex in the first place. Perhaps they would look down upon every sexually active teenager, but only the pregnant girls are physically affected in a way that gives off their sexual status. Is this a position the prochoice community wants to be in? Looking down on people for choosing to have sex?

Perhaps you’re thinking “Well, kids shouldn’t be having sex!” Most people would agree with that. But what age does “kids” cover? 19 year olds? 16 year olds? 14 year olds? I don’t have an answer for that. I do have a personal belief about how young is “too young” for sex. But my personal belief isn’t going to stop kids from having sex. Kids who are told they can’t, or shouldn’t, have sex, will continue to have sex- they just wont speak up about it, wont get protection, wont get tested.

Which brings us full circle back to young, pregnant girls.

So why do we think teen pregnancy is a bad thing? And if it really is a bad thing, how can we show that while still treating pregnant teenagers with respect and dignity?

PSA: Please vote liberal/democrat

I would like to take a moment out to ask you to please make sure you vote liberal/democrat/independent in the midterm elections, and then again in 2012.

If you think that you don't need to vote, because there's no way the teaparty/ republicans / racists / whatever can win, please remember that every vote counts.

Here are some short reminders of why you need to vote.
(Backstory: pictures floating around which were supposedly of Obama's mother. Snopes says they were actually a 1950s pin up model. These are some comments on one website thread with the pictures. Click to enlarge if you can't read them.)














Among all this, one woman chose to call out these people for their words.



This is the response she got:




Please vote.

Part III: 20 more lies to deny women equal rights.

This is a continuation of Part I and Part II, which is a list of reasons why women should not have abortions. A lot of them lies, a lot make no sense, some are even reasons to choose abortion, oddly. Read on for more.


Reason #81: Abortion after rape is a double tragedy

For some women, this could be true. For other women, childbirth after rape is a double tragedy. Let women express their own feelings, and let them decide what's best for them.

Reason #82: There are so many couples who would love to parent if you don’t

So a woman should be an incubator for another couple against her will? No thanks. There are thousands of children waiting to be adopted. The reason couples are on "waiting lists" is usually one of the following reasons: the process of adoption is too expensive, too long, too complicated OR they are waiting for a perfectly healthy wife newborn child. Putting another child into the system wont fix either reason.

Reason #83: The father might regret it too

He could. But since when is it his body being used? Besides, he could also regret parenting, or adoption. The young gentleman in "Teen Mom" who participated in the adoption seems to be extremely sad, possibly even regretful. He said "I miss my daughter."

Reason #84: Real feminists won’t ask you to kill your own child

"Real" feminists wouldn't use bullying to convince someone to make a choice they don't want to make. This is a mind trick used by people who want to make you do what you want. They'll say "Real [blank] wouldn't do this." Then you want to prove that you are a real [blank] so you do EXACTLY what they tell you to do, instead of making your own choice. It's about taking away your freedom and liberty.

Reason #85: There is still hope for your special needs child

Depending upon the fetus's condition, this could be a true or false statement. However, it's really a cruel statement if it's a lie. Parents of fetuses who are non-viable often want nothing more than a healthy fetus. But reality is that their fetus is not healthy. Making false promises and lying to them is nothing short of cruel punishment.

Reason #86: Abortion fetuses are often used in research

I don't know why this is a reason against abortion. Research helps us find cures for diseases, helps us improve human life.

Reason #87: Your unborn baby is intelligent

How do we define intelligent? A fetus in the first trimester doesn't have a functioning brain. How is intelligent, then?

Reason #88: We are self-aware before birth

Quick (google) research leads me to this information:

Many researchers even use ... the mirror test, to determine whether a creature is indeed self-aware (Jha, 2006). During the mirror test, a subject is tested to see if he can recognize himself in a mirror. The researcher places an identifying mark, like a smudge of lipstick or sticker, on the subject’s face. If he reaches up to touch the marker, he has demonstrated self-awareness. Elephants, apes, and bottlenose dolphins have all passed the mirror test (Jha, 2006). Human children can usually pass when they are about two years old.

Source

So, according to this, we're not self-aware until we're 2 years old. So this "reason" is another antichoice lie.

Reason #89: There could be a soul just waiting to come into your life

Yes, there could be. That soul could be the man you meet leaving the abortion clinic. It could be the professor in the class you take because you're not a mother. It could be the best friend you make at the medical school that you were able to afford because you weren't paying for a child. It could be anyone.


Reason #90: Abortion is not just a Catholic issue

This "reason" is just an explanation that you don't have to be Catholic to be antichoice. Okay. Why is that a "reason" to not have an abortion?

Reason #91: The Judeo-Christian heritage is pro-life

I'd agree it is prolife, but it is also prochoice. God gave us free will for a reason. The Judeo-Christian heritage is not antichoice- we are supposed to choose God, choose to follow Jesus. No one breaks your knees and drags you along.

Reason #92: Move with the changing attitudes on abortion

"Changing attitudes on abortion" say that most people are still in favor of abortion being legal. The only thing that is changing, is that they started saying they were prolife. I believe these people are prolife, but many of them are not antichoice.

Reason #93: Abortion may not be medically necessary

Correct, it may not. Not everyone has an abortion because it's medically necessary. If a woman is in a situation where she thinks she it is necessary to have an abortion for medical reasons, I welcome her to search out a second or third opinion if she chooses to do so. But I suggest those opinions to be DOCTORS and medical personal, not antichoicers outside a clinic.

Reason #94: Had one abortion? Don’t make it two

Why not? This "reason" isn't a reason.

Reason #95: What if the timing is right but you just don’t know it?

What if the timing is wrong and you absolutely know it? What if the timing is right for an abortion but you don't know it and choose to carry to term? We make choices in life with as much information as we can gather and find. We cannot make choices with information we wont know until 5 years later.

Reason #96: Read the messages from women who have been there

Yes, do read the messages! http://www.thanksabortion.com/ Client Stories from the Texas Equal Access Fund 9 Women share their personal stories of abortion 8 Women Share their Abortion Stories When Abortion Was Illegal There are many more out there too.

Reason #97: Parenting is not something you can ever be fully prepared for

This sounds almost like a reason to not be a parent. Women who abort because they're not ready to be a parent probably know you can't ever be 100% completely ready. However, they feel at that time that they're not *personally* ready to be a parent. That's their choice.

Reason #98: Motherhood is an awesome experience

For some people! For others, motherhood is not awesome at all. Motherhood can be tough and thankless work (thanks, moms!). For a woman who doesn't want a child, being forced to go through motherhood could be considered punishment almost. Why would you want someone to be a mom who doesn't want to be a mom?

Reason #99: Save a life today

Yes, save a life. And don't forget, you- a woman- are a life. Save your own life, however you need to do that.

Reason #100: You can still live your dreams

Another empty promise. Antichoicers like to make a lot of false promises that they cannot keep. How many young women are living in threadbare apartments with toddlers right now with no education and no job because someone told them that they wouldn't have any trouble and could do anything they wanted? I love the success stories of women who worked to live their dreams and be a mom (if those aren't the same thing). But not everyone is able; some are held back by finances, some are held back by stigma, some are held back for other reasons. Antichoicers need to stop making promises they can't keep.

Reason #101: Be prepared – you might just enjoy being a mom!

Be prepared- you might also not enjoy being a mom. This seems like a repeat of the "being a mom is awesome" we saw earlier. For those who WANT to be moms, or choose to be moms after learning of an unplanned pregnancy- fantastic! But for anyone forced into motherhood, I don't see how they could enjoy that. It's hard work that requires a special attention to the good parts to be enjoyed. No one should be forced into that position.

Pregnant women are people.

Dear world: Pregnant women are people. They are not public property. They are not objects. They are not things. They are human beings, people, individuals, and women.

I am hoping most, if not all, of my readers are going "duh?" Unfortunately, this common sense fact isn't quite so common.

Today I read an article called I'm very pregnant - and people are unbelievably rude to me! The writer spent her time explaining about how she feels shamed when people call her huge or comment about how she looks like she's going to have a baby any minute even though she wasn't due for weeks. As I read the article, I couldn't help but agree with what she was saying; yes, people should respect your space; yes, people shouldn't make rude comments about your body; yes, you have the right to be comfortable and not attacked.

So when I reached the end of the article, I expected to see comments sharing these ideas. Instead, I found these:

Instead of getting all het [sic] up over people making comments about your body, spare a thought for the women who would never make a comment about seeing your wonderful pregnant belly.
...
Being pregnant is a blessing - even all the rudeness and invasion of privacy. Make the most of it.

Yes, you are an object of wonder and enjoy it while it lasts because as soon as the baby is born everyone will be looking only at it and ignoring you again!

Good god, what a load of old rubbish.
Stop moaning!

Viv, I really think you should take heed of some of the comments. The vast majority of women give birth, me included. The vast majority of those who give birth experience the same things from friends and strangers. The vast majority of us take in it the good humour in which is was intended.

I'm afraid you're quite right, Viv: when you're pregnant or have a small child with you, you are public property! However, this is not actually a bad thing...

So that's one "shut up and enjoy that stuff you hate," then "enjoy the stuff you hate because everyone will ignore you soon", one "shut up," one "shut up and join the rest of us who shut up" and lastly "stop complaining, what you hate is a good thing!"


I want to either puke or scream.

Did any of these commenters even READ the article? A woman is speaking about her feelings and about how rude and inappropriate comments make her feel. Every single one of the above comments IGNORED her feelings, IGNORED her thoughts, and told her she was either wrong or selfish. Some agreed with her that these comments are inappropriate, ("you are public property"!) but then chastised her for not appreciating them. How does that work!?

Women deserve better than this, and pregnant women are still women. They still have every right to display feelings, have their own opinions and dislike other people touching/talking about them.

The first comment especially strikes a cord with me. There seem to be a lot of people who say that other people must be appreciative of something, because the first person cannot have it. For example, if person A has trouble getting pregnant and person B is pregnant and complaining about people touching her, person A will tell person B that she MUST be thankful for people touching her, since there are people like person A in the world who can't get pregnant or have trouble getting pregnant.

I understand that we must empathize with other people, and a pregnant women should take notice that there are other women who have trouble becoming pregnant. But the existence of those other women does NOT mean that a pregnant women cannot make complaints, cannot tell people not to touch her, cannot be angry about inappropriate comments.

I also read another article today called A Woman's Body: Neither an Incubator, a House, Nor a Meth Lab. This article was about over 20 pregnant women who were addicted to drugs (meth, specifically) and were "prosecuted... under a law that criminalizes bringing children into houses where meth labs are operated." Only problem is, the "house" was the woman's body.

This again is an example of people forgetting that women are human beings. Women are not houses. Perhaps you believe that women addicted to drugs should be punished for having babies addicted to drugs. That's your call, and while I disagree with it, I'd still like for you to think of that woman as a person instead of an object, or a thing.

There is no reason in this day and age for women, pregnant or not, to be treated this way. There is no reason why we cannot fight against this culture of dehumanization. Women are people. We cannot forget that.